Huntin' jokes...

adventure · **Posted:** Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:23 pm

Who's got some good ones...

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it---where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg. Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!" The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in it's mouth and started humping his leg. The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more f%$&ing ducks out there than you can shake a stick at."

charlie464 · **Posted:** Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:06 am

adventure wrote:

Who's got some good ones...

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it---where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg. Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!" The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in it's mouth and started humping his leg. The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more f%$&ing ducks out there than you can shake a stick at."

Hey how the south,looks like its along winter.lol :lol:

adventure · **Posted:** Mon Feb 11, 2013 4:24 pm

Hey how the south,looks like its along winter.lol :lol:

[/quote]

It's too freaking hot here, please send snow!!!

Maple · **Posted:** Tue Feb 12, 2013 10:55 am

Bob, Joe and Andy are supposed to go huntin' for the weekend, but Bob says it's his anniversary and his wife wants him to stay home. So, Joe and Andy go to the hunt camp anyhow and get ready for the following morning's hunt. All of a sudden Bob comes crashing through the camp door with a big smile on his face. "Wadda you doing here Bob, it's you wedding anniversary" says Joe. "Well, the strangest thing happened" Bob says. "I was sitting in the bedroom, and in walks my wife in nothin' but a see-through neglige and a grin on her face, and she says to me, "Here I am Bob. I'm all yours. You can do anything you want." So here I am."

-Dave- · **Posted:** Fri Feb 15, 2013 10:48 am

its a joke theres hundreds of them out there and grizz has lots of friends that are black

Grizzly · **Posted:** Fri Feb 15, 2013 1:09 pm

I have some mexican friends too not to mention muslem, asian native american the list goes on . any of wich are welcome to my dinner table at any time unless i think they might be stealing my truck radio lol Remember im american who comes from the melting pot of the world lol but saying that im sorry if i have offended anyone not everyone will see humor in a joke so Billy Dee im sorry if i offended you in any way shape or form .. Grizz

wrighty52 · **Joined:** Fri Jul 10, 2009 7:27 pm **Posts:** 183

Grizz dont appologize for anything. That is one of the funniest jokes I have heard in a long time. I have retold it about a dozen times already and it always gets tonnes of laughs.

-Dave- · **Posted:** Fri Feb 15, 2013 2:53 pm

wrighty52 wrote:

Grizz dont appologize for anything. That is one of the funniest jokes I have heard in a long time. I have retold it about a dozen times already and it always gets tonnes of laughs.

Same

adventure · **Posted:** Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:07 pm

Billy Dee and anyone else who may not have understood the joke for what it was, I didn't delete it because I knew it was a joke and only a joke. If I thought there was any ill intent in any way coming from a grizzly ole American, I would have.

Back to what this thread was about, passing the next months waiting for hunting season to start again and having a few laughs along the way...

Two guys go hunting. Jerry has never gone hunting while Joe has hunted all his life. When they get to the northern Wisconsin woods, Joe tells Jerry to sit by a tree and not make a sound while Joe checks out a deer stand. After he gets about a quarter of a mile away, Joe hears a blood-curdling scream. He rushes back to Jerry and yells, "I thought I told you to be quiet!" Jerry says, "Hey, I tried. I really did. When those snakes crawled over me, I didn't make a sound. When that bear was breathing down my neck, I didn't make a peep. But when those two chipmunks crawled up my pants leg and said, 'Should we take them with us or eat them here?' I couldn't keep quiet any more!"

Grizzly · **Posted:** Fri Feb 15, 2013 5:54 pm

this one might be more approeate to my Canadian brothers.
An american come up to do a lil bear hunting so he spends a week back in the bush doing his thing and on the 4th day he bags his bruin, after gutting it and putting his tag on he drags it back to his truck and hears a truck coming down the road.
It turns out to be the MNR and he stops to talk to the bear hunter. asking the usual questions so the hunter tells the warden the story of his hunt as he tells the man the warden pulls out his book and starts to write the man finishes and the warden rips off a page and hands the hunter his violation ticket and tells the man he has just killed a bear on the wrong side of the road and the bear season on that side of the road does not open for another week.
Following year the american returns to to his now favorite spot to try his luck at bagging another bear. on day four he has done it again and once again bagged his bruin. pretty much the same this happens as he is dragging the bear back to the truck the MNR pulls up and its the same man same warden the american smiles and again starts telling his story as he does again the warden pulls out his book and starts writing .
His story ends and again the warden rips off the ticket and the american said whats this i now know the law and i shot the bear on the other side of the road so its leagal in season, the warden says yes sir bear is in season on that side of the road but you can not bait bear on that side of the road its a no bear bait zone.
third year the hunter returns and again baggs his bear but on the fifth day where season is opened on both sides of the road. again the MNR drives down the road and the man smiles at the warden this time knowing full well he is 100% leagal so he is over joyed and talking to the warden as they both look at the nice big bruin in amazement. the hunter says dont you want to hear the story of where i was and how my hunt went ? the warden says well sure i guess but im sure you have been leagal since this is your third time up here hunting in the exact area . so the hunter goes on to tell the story of how he ran his baits on the right side of the road and knows full well now that season is open and baiting is leagal.
the warden listens as he tells the story and at the end of the story the warden says nice job buddy but i only habe one question to ask you so the amarican says sure what is it . warden says ive heared the story and looked at the bear and i notice the bear is shot thru both paws, and again right between the eyes in your story you said you shot one time,,,,,,,, the man says yes, when the bear showed up I turned on my flashlight because it was so dark when the light hit the bears eyes the bear put up his paws to cover his eyes. and the warden pulls out his hand cuffs

Hutchy · **Joined:** Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:06 pm **Posts:** 399

A trapper is sitting on his cabin porch and a young boy walks down the road carrying a pail. The trapper says what are you up to? The boy says he is going to pick some butter cups and get some butter. The trapper says you don't get butter from butter cups! The boy says sure you do! A little while later the boy walks back with a pail full of butter, the trapper is amazed. The next day the boy is walking down the road again with the bucket. The trapper asks what he is doing now? The boy says I'm going to pick some milk weeds and get a bucket of milk. The trapper says you don't get milk from milk weeds! The boy says sure you do! A while later the boy comes back up the road with a pail of milk. The trapper is now scratching his head in wonder. The next day the boy is comeing down the road carrying a sack. The trapper asks him what he is after today? The boy says I am going to pick Pussy willows. The trapper says you wait right there. I'm getting my boots and coming with you! :lol:

charlie464 · **Posted:** Fri Mar 01, 2013 1:09 am

Little Johnny and Grandpa when fishing one day.They left the house around noon,they arrived at the lake shortly after.They fished awhile when Grandpa takes out a smoke ,Johnny says hey Grandpa can I have a smoke too,Grandpa says Johnny can your pecker touch your butt hole yet, Johnny says no Iam just a little boy.It was starting to get hot outside now when Grandpa opens up a cold beer,Johnny says Grandpa can I have a beer too, Grandpa says Johnny can your pecker touch your butt hole yet, Johnny says no Grandpa Iam just a little boy.Johnny takes a cookie out of his lunch ,Grandpa says Johnny can I have a cookie too Johnny says Grandpa can your pecker touch your butt hole Grandpa says yes Iam a grown man, Johnny says then go F yourself, Grandma made these cookies for me. :lol:

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Huntin' jokes...

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