Quinte Fishing

I just picked up the latest copy of The Walleyed Assasin's new book. It is a pretty good bathroom read(if you run out of TP) I found out a few interesting facts about the guy. His 2 middle names are TGER WOULDS.

10 Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home.
2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.
3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.
4. It's important to have a woman who has a job.
5. It's important to have a woman who likes you.
6. It's important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.
7. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
8. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn't lie to you.
9. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed.
10. It's very, very important that these nine women do not know each other
Signed,
Walleyed Tger Woulds Assasin.

The Walleyed assasin was driving accross the bay and ran into a pressure crack. He wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor
comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge accident on the bay of quinte.
You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your
penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."
The Assasin groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance
compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis.
They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch."
The man perks up. "So," the doctor says,"You must decide how many
inches you want. But this is something you should discuss with your wife.
IF you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be
a bit put out.
If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a
five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she
plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The Assasin agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back
the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?"
"Yes I have," says the assasin.
"And has she helped you make a decision?
"Yes" says the Assasin.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."

Sheldon MUUHAHAHAHAHAH

LMAO LMAO LMAO thats good

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A bad day fishing is better than a good day at work

A hunter walks over to a tree to take a break and props his gun up against a branch. A gust of wind comes along...knocks the gun over and discharges a round right into his genitals. Hours later, lying in a hospital bed, the doctor arrives and tells the hunter there is good news and bad news. The good news is you're going to be ok. The damage was local to your groin, there was little internal damage and all of the buck shot had been removed. "Whats the bad news?" asked the hunter. The doctor replied, "There had been very extensive damage to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my sister." The hunter asked, "Is your sister a plastic surgeon?" "No" replied the doctor. "She plays the flute in the local symphony orchestra and I'm going to have her teach you how to hold your penis so you don't piss all over yourself." (Sorry guys, best I could do for now)

lol...good one pa guy

THATS MY SISTER THINKING

That fricken countertop decision sounds a little too close to home !!!!!

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SHUT UP AND FISH

i can't say anything about these jokes or insults to my family it may screw up my inheritance

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FISHING'S NOT A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH,ITS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT