DeProp
Having recently spoken to your wife, I regret to inform you that you are unable (read "not allowed") to go this year.
Although we, the standing committee, are in complete agreement with her on this topic, we were slightly put out by the fact that she has disallowed your involvment, as we were looking forward to informing you of the decision. In true male fashion, we are compelled to do the opposite of what the female has dictated and continue to allow you to play with us (on a trial basis).
Your extremely sad state of inebriation/intoxication in 2003 leading to your unfortunate subsequent behaviour associated with said state of inebriation has led your co-fishermen to reconsider your inclusion into our otherwise sober and coherent pasttime. You are hereby urged to strive to become a paragon of sobriety and social graces, much like myself and the Snarf.
Should the standing committee (which meets every Friday night) vote to reinstate your eligibility (theatrical semantics), putting aside past transgressions and thereby bestowing/granting probationary status, it will be your task/responsibility to ensure that Wayne-o-Mac remains conscious/vertical. Should you fail to monitor, correct and ensure his upright involvement in evening activities, it will be your responsibility to procure/provide an indelible marker should someone's glutimus maximus (very "maximus" in Wayne-o-Mac's case) need to be autographed by any on-hand celebrities/dignitaries.
Regards,
Mux
PS I can't believe you were up in my neck of the woods in July and I missed you. Never, never believe a kid, I was in the backyard and found your note in the garage when it was too late.
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